What Am I?

Eighteen of my riddles in chronological order

What must you do to hold interest?
What tricks with ways that end?
What does a newborn do?
What distance is slowest the first time and boring each time after?

Needs money and an infection to rise
Is soft in the morning but hard at night
Can keep hands clean while being fulfilling

They taste like summer’s sea
They come from deep beliefs
They divide and weaken
Muscles they will strengthen

What a rabbi has when they don’t like coffee
What leaves eggs but doesn’t lay them
What takes twelve years to come around
What is soft but bounces and screams like a banshee

A nurse has more than one
Unless ordered by Amazon
Watch the news
A fountain for youth
Never marching one by one

It is a marvel to experience a low-key ending
But if the old in the new offends rear views
Thorny truths poison sutured wounds
Before that fever, beware drips causing convulsions
They foretell an onset of Disco rage, not Rock
So, embrace New-Age music and drink Mountain Dew.

If I accost you at the store, don’t shake my hand.
Ruder than a clam, I don’t play the same shell game.
When the true midsummer comes, I own the night sky.
If all hearts are healed, then I will dominate death.

Nonsense or shame, it’s a blame game
Three monkeys play in a hot spring
Next to piles of dusty beans
Census seeds trigger allergies
When free thoughts are counted fairly
Laser beams are readied to aim
Sensitive to glass vibrations
Edit away revolution

A gracious submission before a pissing
Artists brave this danger by provoking
Some enjoy when hanging out in closets
Others solve this by hugging from behind

Place blame for a clogged toilet
Created for traveling
Why take two seats on a plane
When Satchel Paige paved the way

What can heal accidents by relieving pressure
What softens judgments of a parental figure
What formal dance is birthed from a scandalous song
Because it is impossible to do no wrong

Gather smiles like a Christmas turkey
Be a pack rat but more of a foodie
A bit from me makes vegans blaspheme
While my organ keeps you out of heaven
Sticks and stones never break my chewy chin
But can straw save me across religions?

Crabs in a pot make red scary
Unequal opportunity
Allows equity in farming
Picture book animals walking

Crying child. Don’t lie on a jealous uncle.
After your tears dry, what becomes of your tissue?
Survive war to age with something more than wrinkles.
Acids and bases can both end faces, what’s new?

A father sees his boy preparing their table
In the shape of a Phoenix when night follows day
Fleeting as a mandala of vivid orange
The son’s mind may rest but when does soul fall asleep

Required for a devil’s bargain
What coward needs iron to brave darts
Run from the halls of a butcher’s barn
Take this from lovers and quell their hearts

What Snow White’s men discovered when they dug too deep
A dusty lamp that saves the world from one ring
Similar to what swallowed a thumbs-up robot
It builds nice places but turns people into dust

I give title to those explaining
Upheaval begins under the earth
Beware those ideals worth defending
Some innocents are sure to get hurt
Whether the ground will be wet or dry
I dare direct action in the sky
While machines fail to predict my mind

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